Dear Bigshot Pharma CEO,
First, let me express my admiration for your achievements.
You arrived as an immigrant from a third world country, and yet you’ve co-founded four biotech and pharma companies and you serve as a board member on at least seven more.
You hold highly coveted professorships at Harvard University, and you were the editor-in-chief of your field’s academic journal. You were personally appointed by President Obama to a commission at the top of your field.
Your company’s product, which maps an individual’s genome to identify their genetic variants for medical treatments, is visionary. You partner with at least two of China’s top medical schools, and your company is supported by China’s largest diagnostic testing company.

On top of all this, you’re a partner in a pharma/biotech venture capital firm.
Sir, you are the very embodiment of the American Dream. I would be proud to accomplish just one of your many achievements.
Alas, I am simply a grown man in my basement, wearing a SpongeBob shirt and listening to Mötley Crüe.
Now to the problem. For a year I’ve had the opportunity to engage with the employee you sent to follow me around on my social media pages and harass me. How do I know you sent this person, and they’re not just volunteering their time?
One, because volunteers move on when the work is not fulfilling. Like the guy who said he was from Reuters Institute for the Study of Journalism (RISJ). He contacted me to ask about my experience being “fact checked” when I said herd immunity was achieved in May 2020. He disappeared when I publicly posted his message (name removed, of course), revealed he was actually a researcher for Oxford University, and further revealed that RISJ is funded by Facebook and Google.

Two, because many years ago as a staffer in a DC lobbying association, I was told to monitor “troublesome” individual Americans. It was a thankless (and bizarre) job, but it was money.
Likewise, your employee has been nothing if not totally dedicated to his mission. Every time I point out how your Nitwit Cartel has lied about COVID-19, he dutifully jumps in on me, and sometimes from multiple fake accounts. This employee takes initiative, following me around on my social media pages and posting senseless messages on my personal Facebook page, Instagram, MeWe, Locals, and Twitter. I even caught him snooping at my LinkedIn profile! Namaste!
But here’s the problem. Your employee is coming off as crazy. For a long time, he has been reduced to leaving babbling appeals to authority and ad hominem attacks. Here’s a recent one:
“Matt McBride is no expert. He is giving such false information. He is endangering people who listen to his garbage. Please don’t take anything seriously that he speaks of. He knows nothing about vaccines, or epidemiology, or therapeutics….he is literally endangering people.”
Okay, so… my job title is literally “senior health policy expert.” I get paid to do this. But that aside, what specific false information am I giving? Where is the counter-argument here?
Here’s another:
“We have not yet reached herd immunity. Your assumptions are flawed. You still haven’t taken into account the variables and the change with Delta. You are harming people who read this nonsense.”
Okay… but again, how specifically am I wrong? What specific assumptions are flawed? I explained some (not all) of the variables for R0 in the article… so what variables have I missed that discredit what I wrote? Again, where is the actual argument here?

Don’t get me wrong – crazy can be entertaining, but it has to stay fresh. Even “Starship Troopers” got a little stale by the fifth time I watched it, if you know what I mean.
I do appreciate that a man of your stature has found it necessary to budget for the employee staff time needed to discredit me. This guy is a senior manager in one of your biotech firms, and his staff time can’t be cheap.
Unfortunately, you’re not getting your money’s worth. His responses are fluff and do nothing to discredit what I’ve been saying about the lies you and your kind have been pushing. To put it simply, you are paying to make me look good.
Honestly, is a ranting, babbling fool the best a man of your vast achievements can send against me? You are hooked into the world’s elite; can you not find somebody a little smarter to harass me? I hate to think you hold me with such little regard that the most you’re willing to spend on is for a guy who couldn’t win an argument against a goldfish.
But let’s be real here. After working under many people like you (and way more powerful – people like you are a dime a dozen in DC), I know personally the disdain with which you elitists hold us commoners. My very lack of social status is what makes you not take me seriously, and trust me, I use that. It’s also what lets me run out to check my mailbox in the middle of the night in my underwear, but I digress.

I know COVID-19 has made you even wealthier, and the longer you keep your scam going, the wealthier you and your buddies get. Your friends at China’s largest diagnostic testing company must appreciate all that you do to keep the money flowing to them.
All I ask is to please consider investing some of your vast COVID-19 profits into sending a more experienced, or at least more entertaining, employee against me.
Just please don’t spend any more money to discredit me if you’re not even going to try.
Regards,
Matthew McBride, MPH, MSHI
Senior Health Policy Expert
P.S. I also recommend watching “Team America: World Police.” Total classic!
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